New Years and New Experiences

It is 2017, and there have been some interesting changes in my life. My husband, Seamus, joined the US Air Force, to be a captain pharmacist. We moved from our home of almost 2 years (Mesa, AZ) to the Las Vegas area. After struggling for 1.5 years to get pregnant, we tried IVF. I left my job as a phlebotomist, and am considering another career shift. So, here's a dive into the current world of the Tallgurrl.

I've been married to Seamus for 2 years. It has been an interesting time. We rented our first home, did the budgeting thing, adulted. I came out as bisexual to him. (I realize that many people may see that as something that should have been mentioned earlier, but other than him knowing my STI status, it really wasn't his business. I chose not to give him specifics about past sexual partners because he didn't want to know. He only cared so far as he could potentially develop something. But I came out to him in our first month of marriage because he should know.) My coming out didn't really change anything. We both comment on the attractiveness of people in films or on tv. Otherwise, since we practice radical honesty and monogamy, it is a non-issue. {About radical honesty, we call that sharing the honesty, and if we weren't ready to talk about something that means saying "I'm not ready to talk about but we'll discuss it later." This kind of honesty means that we knew what we got when we picked up each other.}

Through the 2 years, Seamus has been dissatisfied with his job as a commercial pharmacist. They were very unclear about expectations, shifted him around a lot, and lied to him, all while holding him accountable for ALL mistakes that he made from not being kept abreast of his company's current standards. I have a family history of being in the military, and so I encouraged him to apply to join. I figured that they'd help with his student loans, he'd get cross-trained to work in every potential PharmD job, and he actually would have upward mobility in his career. With that in mind, he joined the Air Force and his first duty station is near Las Vegas. Our move was largely uneventful, but has me nostalgic for our former landlord. We live in a one story house, 3 bedrooms/2bathrooms, 2 car garage. It is in a quiet neighborhood and close to all of the important shopping. He drives in to work, and gets that quiet time to have his deep thoughts.

Basically from day one, we have been trying to have children. After a year of failure, we decided to see a specialist. After extensive testing and 6 months of failed attempts with Clomid, we did IVF. That means that I had eggs extracted from me, and they were fertilized with Seamus' sperm in a petri dish. Those fertilized eggs were watched for several days, and then one embryo was put into my uterus, with the hope that it would implant and grow to a baby. We also opted to genetically test the remaining embryos, to check for any anomalies that could prevent implantation. The first attempt failed. And of the 9 embryos: 1 was weird and so discarded; 1 failed implantation; 4 were genetically unholy; and 3 are frozen female kid-sicles to be used at a later date. Since we've moved to Vegas, I will need to find a rock star fertility specialist to work with my kid-sicles and get our spawning on.

When we decided to do the IVF, I decided to quit my job. The process of IVF entails a plethora of doctor's appointments, ultrasounds, procedures. Add to that the needed ZERO stress relax time after procedures and you're taking more time off from work. There are few employers that would give the time off that is required to go through all of that. So I quit. I was going to do it eventually. I had no desire to continue working in Arizona while my husband was serving in the military somewhere else. With the downtime that came with both the failed IVF and my husband undergoing his Air Force officer's training, I had a lot of space to think about my next step. I wasn't sure that I wanted to continue working as a phlebotomist. 12 years is a long time for a career that was supposed to be a stop-gap. I have an Associate's degree in Russian. I could go back to school for a Bachelor's degree in ... something. I could go into sales or real estate. I could finally write the book I've always meant to get done. I'm still not sure what I want to do, but the book option is still knocking around my mind. In the meantime, continuing this blog sounds like a good start. I've been lax for a long time, but this year I'm fixing to get some words out at least once a week. I'm pretty sure that the 3 readers who used to follow me have since left me. Who knows? Maybe someone else will start being interested.


The weather is cool and cloudy. Though it is winter, the potential and hope for growth are heavy in the air, like a mist.


Thank you for reading. May 2017 be a year of hope, new beginnings, and love.


The Tallgurrl

Year-end Wrap-up (and many other hyphened words)

So to start... Or maybe its to finish: 2009 was a pretty good year. Lots of random dating. I met a few guys, dated them, and added yet another crop of men to my ever increasing collection of male friends. I was talking with one of them who had the exact opposite situation. Most of his friends are women. What does that say about us?

I tried a few new things. Went to my first-ever New England-style clambake. (I also decided that day that the best way to have clams is cooked over hot coals on a beach.) Another new thing, started to learn Argentine tango... It is kinda difficult to dance with a partner who is shorter than you, but I'm managing to learn. It looks so beautiful when experienced dancers are going at it... Somehow I'm making it look painful. I guess that is the learning process, though. I think the favorite new thing I did this year is taking a Zumba class. For the uninitiated, Zumba is a cardio class that incorporates the dance stylings of Latin dances, as well at hip-hop, and whatever else the instructor chooses to use for choreography. My best friend, in addition to being my partner in crime for all things involving revelry, is also a certified Zumba instructor. She started teaching classes for my Relief Society, and I just loved it. The work-out is more intense than sprinting for 3 miles, and more work than a day of skiing. It is a lot of fun, and the music is such that it makes you want to move.

I know that in past years I have scoffed at making resolutions. Instead saying I make revolutions. (Yes I have a bunch of guerrillas wandering with guns that make sure my goals are accomplished and demands met.) I'm making a resolution for 2010. In 2009, I both sprained and broke my foot. There was a several month space between each injury, but the result was the same... My exercise regime was stalled. Now I am not a fat woman, but I think I could gain to lose a few pounds and tone here and there. A trainer friend once told me I would never be a Kate Moss, but I have the potential to be a tall Scarlett Johanssen. With that in mind, my resolution-revolution is to gain more physical fitness for 2010. I would like to run a half-marathon some time during the year, and I really want to train for a tri. I have already found a few programs to aid me in my pursuits. Mostly I am concerned with stamina, but the distance running goals will have great spill-over into strength as well. I think I'll be able to do the leg presses I did when I played sports in high school, in the end.

Speaking of school... The year 2010 is the year I get myself back into college. Yes, people you read correct. I am re-enrolling, hopefully at BYU-Idaho. The plan is for me to finally finish my Social Work degree, and get to stepping on doing grad school. In a perfect world, I would be able to double major in social work and nursing, but I think that dream may not come to fruition. I'll just be a phlebotomy doing, salsa dancing, social worker/counselor. My biggest challenge is in writing all of the essays. For me, writing anything is very difficult. I definitely have the intelligence, and the vocabulary. But translating the verbal, vocal-ness into something written is akin to having a first year resident perform open-heart surgery. Not impossible, but very difficult, and a little scary. I am blessed with an amazing sister, though. She promised to take a look at my attempts and give me some notes. I'm hoping my writing skills haven't diminished too much from under-usage.

So to sum up: 2009 was a pretty good year. 2010 has a lot of potential and promise. I have a lot of work to do. My family and friends are the greatest. Faith and hope get me through the tough times.

The snow makes a blanket of white, and for interesting driving. Give yourself extra time, both to clean off your car and to arrive safely.

Please give your input and share.

Thanks,

The Tallgurrl