Feminist Friday: Reasons Why I'm a Feminist

I've been remiss in posting for over a year. In an effort to begin to remedy this oversight, here's what I hope to be the start of a tradition: Feminist Friday's!!! I was required to take a Women's Health course for my degree. After completing the course, I lamented that BYU-Idaho does not have a Women's Studies degree program. My eyes were opened to circumstances that I had earlier dismissed as commonplace and the status quo. I pondered my opinions of many things and came to the conclusion that I am a Femisist...

Definition:
Feminist: a person who supports the political, economical and social equality of sexes, with an emphasis on women's rights. 

I haven't stopped my Christian religion, though a later post will talk about that. I haven't begun to hate men. (I even married one!) I have merely come to label the source of many of my frustrations, and the cause of much heartache. Here's just a few of the reasons why I am a feminist...

I'm a feminist because gender roles and stereotypes are harmful. Being a person who accepts and celebrates the "masculine" and "feminine" traits that I possess makes it difficult to exist in a place where gender roles are rigid and too specific.

I'm a feminist because my father only took my brothers deep sea fishing... Women couldn't handle catching fish.

I'm a feminist because a friend mocked my decision to not shave my legs for the winter as growing "man hair for manly legs" and they "match my furry boots." Because apparently women can't/don't grow hair on their bodies.

I'm a feminist because gendered toys are harmful and limiting to any child's imagination.

I'm a feminist because when a classmate molested me in kindergarten the teacher brushed it off as "boys being boys" and she never reported it to either my parents or any other authority figure.

I'm a feminist because in health class I was taught that losing virginity hurt, and that I would also lose a part of myself. Fortunately, I chose to educate myself about sexuality and learned that she was wrong!

I'm a feminist because my church has few women in positions of authority, and ecclesiastical abuse happens more than anyone cares to admit.

I'm a feminist because there is a group of people shaming women based on what they are wearing. They focus so much on the length of a hemline and the amount of shoulder showing, and completely miss the beauty of her heart.

I'm a feminist because when I was raped at my church university I was afraid to report it because I knew several women who had been kicked out after reporting their sexual assaults, and the men who hurt them had zero repercussions for the assault. Victim blaming at its finest.

I'm a feminist because most slang insults are about being too feminine, and they are usually about a woman's genitalia.

I'm a feminist because Female Genital Mutilation, labiaplasty, vaginal rejuvenation, circumcision... are a thing.

I'm a feminist because women are not supposed to age... They are supposed to fight the effects of aging with creams, makeup, plastic surgery... retaining the youthful appearance of their 20s whilst being in their 40s+. Men just get more attractive, distinguished, etc. (Look at the red carpet if you doubt it.)

I'm a feminist because the first thing someone asks a sexual assault victim is "what were you wearing?" followed closely by "what did you do[to provoke it]?"

I'm a feminist because in the USA I am guaranteed the right to keep my job for maternity leave, but it is only for 6 weeks and is unpaid. (The US is one of 4 developed countries that does not have paid maternity leave... And is the ONLY one that is a high paid country to refuse that benefit/right.)

I'm a feminist because sexual trafficking is still rampant in the world, and the biggest consumers of human trafficking are from/in the USA.

I'm a feminist because my husband sharing his emotions with me is perceived as weak.

I'm a feminist because though white women make more than women of color, they both still make less than their male counterparts.

I'm a feminist because I didn't find my feminist voice/feminism in time to pursue several of the careers that always interested me, but was discouraged from pursuing because female.

I'm a feminist because people who are sexually assaulted in the military still don't have a voice, and usually end up leaving their military jobs for safety reasons... And because military sexual assault survivors get less support than those with combat PTSD, even though the survivors are expected to trust their assailants to have their backs in combat zones, etc.

I'm a feminist because when I suggested that my father help with the dishes after dinner, I was given a look of incredulity and told that his stressful job exempted him from household stuff.

I'm a feminist because being a Stay At Home Mother and being a Working Mother are personal choices that deserve nonjudgement.

I'm a feminist because "being a mother is the culmination and purpose of womanhood." Thereby exempting all women who have fertility issues, or just don't get the chance, or don't have the desire to have children. I guess they are genderless, or something.

I'm a feminist because trans people lack representation, support, acceptance. The trans of our world deserve to feel safe and loved no matter where they are.

I'm a feminist because LGBTQSA is just a label for sexuality and attraction, and no reason to treat someone differently.

I'm a feminist because I want marriage equality. Love is love. Maybe the same gendered couples can master what so many opposite gendered couples have failed at. Either way, it should be a choice available to everyone.

I'm a feminist because women are objectified to sell everything from burgers to cars to makeup to clothes. And it is seen as normal and acceptable.

I'm a feminist because being athletic is considered masculine, unless it is a "feminine" sport like figure-skating, swimming, or gymnastics.

I'm a feminist because being a male fashion designer/interior designer/ballet dancer does not mean gay. And in a like mind, being a bodybuilder/construction worker/cowboy... does not mean heterosexual.

I'm a feminist because my husband is the person who business people default to addressing at our meetings.

I'm a feminist because when I don't use powerless speech mannerisms I am called a bitch, aggressive, and rude.


These are just 30 reasons for my feminist leanings. There are more than can easily be counted. This isn't an angry rant. I still love men and women equally. It is just an expression of my feelings on the topic. It isn't easy to be a woman in this world. But I hope men and women can be on equal ground, someday.



The weather is cool and crisp. The air is dry and breezy. Change is in the air.

Please share, comment, read this posting. I really want to know what my readers think about my postings. Does anything strike a chord?

Thank you,

The Tallgurrl

An Answer to "18 Things White People Seem to Not Understand (Because of White Privilege)"

I woke up this morning and saw this posted on a friend's facebook wall. I can appreciate that there is some validity to what the author writes about. Life is difficult when your community feels oppressed. Here is the thing, life sucks for everyone. And then it doesn't. I couldn't read that and not voice my answer to many of these points. Some have merit, and I definitely see where this person is coming from. Others are heavily clouded by the author's personal experience and don't take into consideration the converse side of her statements. And so, here is my response to the posting, and expansion of her words.

1. White Privilege is being able to move into a new neighborhood and being fairly sure that your neighbors will be pleasant to you and treat you with respect. Unless the neighborhood is primarily filled with people who aren't jerks, then they don't care about your skin color and just show courtesy to their new neighbor.

2. White Privilege is being able to watch a movie, read a book and open the front page of a newspaper and see yourself and your race widely represented and spoken for. She has a point here. People of color never have any accomplishments. They are not star athletes, or musicians, or president of the USA. They never make scientific discoveries, or do good for humanity. All they ever do is commit crimes and hide in the background. In reality, there is a serious under representation of people of color in the newspaper, at least in the good way. Also, this depends on the region. I imagine that people of color feature very heavily in China, India, any African country... I think you get my drift.

3. White Privilege is being able to seek legal, financial and medical help without having your race work against you. For certain things medical, your race will work against you. No amount of shouting from the rooftops will change the outcome of your particular genetic lottery. You may have medical conditions that are specific to your heritage. Ps, white people who have a smattering of "your" genetic material are subject to the same biological laws, and vice versa.

4. White Privilege is living in a world where you are taught that people with your skin tone hold the standard for beauty. It is a shame that the author has been taught to find her skin tone ugly. It is also a shame when thick women are told that they are ugly. It is a shame when tall women are told they are ugly. It is a shame when ANY person is told that they are ugly. People come in different shapes, sizes, colors, flavors... Each option comes with beautiful aspects.

5. White Privilege is never being told to, “get over slavery”. This is a very touchy subject for people who have ancestors who were slaves. Frankly, I find it a touchy subject as someone who has ancestors who NEVER had slaves. I find it touchy as someone who has ancestors who were practically serfs. I find it touchy that because of my skin color I am expected to apologize for something that I did not do. The fact is, every ethnic group in the USA, including so-called white people, has experienced discrimination. Some were slaves. Slavery is still rampant, and interestingly enough, many white people are slaves. Sex trafficking is nothing to joke about. 

6. White Privilege is having the prevalence and importance of the English language and finding amusement in ridiculing people of colour/immigrants for their accents and their difficulty in speaking a language that is not their native tongue. This author has mistaken "White Privilege" with Anglo Privilege. It is Anglo privilege that has made English the international language of business. (PS There are so many color of native English speaking people in the UK.) The language of business has nothing to do with color, and everything to do with political power. It was French at one time. In Asia, Chinese was the business/political language for generations. As for mocking people with accents, that is just some people being jerks. And jerks exist in every color, so don't even be playing the skin-tone card on this one. I've been ridiculed by many a brown skinned person for my particular colloquialisms. 

7. White Privilege is arrogantly believing that reverse racism actually exists. Human privilege is acknowledging there is NO SUCH THING as reverse racism!!! It is racism: plain, ugly truth. This author's whole rant is actually very racist, against anyone who is white. Racism has nothing to do specifically with being brown skinned. It is about one person/racial group targeting a different racial group for censure/mockery/jokes/comments.

8. White Privilege is being able to stay ignorant to the fact that racial slurs are part of a systematic dehumanization of entire groups of people who are and have historically been subjugated and hated just for being alive. Don't be telling me that she's NEVER used any of these words. Slurs are used when one person feels the need to make another person feel like less, in order to feel good about him/herself. 

9. White Privilege is not having your name turned into an easier-to-say Anglo-Saxon name. Ignorant Privilege is to forget all of the people who went through Ellis Island and had the lazy clerks change spellings, and sometimes whole names, because the names were too ethnic/difficult to spell/etc. Why do you think there are so many Smiths, Jones, Johnson, and Adams families in the USA?

10. White Privilege is being able to fight racism one day, then ignore it the next. This has a lot of validity. I don't have to think about how the whole world is putting me to censure for being white. I don't have to worry about racism... Because no one is ever racist towards white people. I can fight racism, and then let it go... But that is not White Privilege. That is anyone's privilege. It is an active choice to call out injustices, and try to make life fair.

11. White privilege is having your words and actions attributed to you as an individual, rather than have them reflect members of your race. Excuse me? There is an entire collection of local slang/colloquialisms that are not allowed to cross my lips, specifically because I have white skin. I'm not allowed to make comments about race, because I am white. It is too offensive, for me to notice pretty brown skin, or any other feature that is specific to a genetic subgroup. Forget the fact that most Americans are a genetic hodgepodge of many races, and that many of the white people just don't present the darker skin of their progenitors.

12. White Privilege is being able to talk about racism without appearing self-serving. NO! White privilege is to talk about racism, using special lingo, and stepping gingerly, lest the white person sound racist.

13. White Privilege is being able to be articulate and well-spoken without people being surprised. That is true, most of the time. Depending where the white person is from, it might be very surprising to hear s/he is so well spoken. (It is unexpected for a hillbilly redneck from Appalachia to be well spoken.)

14. White Privilege is being pulled over or taken aside and knowing that you are not being singled out because of your race/colour. That is very true, and so wrong that it happens. There is a systematic disconnect where people are racially profiled by law enforcement. It needs to be changed. 

15. White Privilege is not having to teach your children to be aware of systematic racism for their own protection. This, too, is so wrong that it happens. It is also knowing that if you travel alone in certain countries, you may be kidnapped for sex trafficking.

16. White Privilege is not having to acknowledge the fact that we live in a system that treat people of colour unfairly politically, socially and economically and choosing, instead, to believe that people of colour are inherently less capable. President Barack Obama. James Earl Jones. Lupita Nyong'o.... I could keep on listing off many people of color who are HIGHLY capable. It may not be about color, but socioeconomic standing. It may be a prejudice against the poor.

17. White Privilege is not having your people and their culture appropriated, romanticized or eroticized for the gain and pleasure of other white people. Obviously, this woman has never seen Dr Zhivago, or War and Peace, or Onegin. Everyone is not Russian, but when those films, (two of which have been remade multiple times), were made there was a mad rush for Russian things, using a fake Russian accent, etc. I respect that she doesn't like how brown people have been made in films written/directed by some white people,  to be sexual playthings. They historically have been exploited. That has been changing, slowly and surely. And by the way, films made in the English speaking world are not the only films being made. She may want to try the cinema of Asia or South/Central America, which don't exploit those people.

18. White Privilege is being able to ignore the consequences of race. That is true, to an extent. Though I might not have worded this statement in that manner. There is no consequence of being born one ethnic group or another. The consequence is what one does with it, and how one works to evoke change in the world. Social justice is not an easy thing to achieve. But it is worth it.

Edit:
This post has some embarrassing and very privileged statements in it. Over the past year and a half, I have been learning about the white privilege I possess and take for granted. I am very ashamed of many of the statements I wrote here. I will not excuse my ignorant and rude words. And I will leave this post up, as a testament to where I started and where I am now. (June 30, 2016 The Tallgurrl)