My 2009 birthday consisted of being "kidnapped" by my friends and taken to Boston. My kidnapping was a very Patty Hearst type, in that I went willingly, but I definitely did NOT sleep with my kidnappers. (Get your mind outta the gutter!).
My friend Dom was one of the kidnappers, and his birthday was three days before the new year. We didn't get to celebrate it, as he spent it with his family, and then all the New Year's celebrating happened.
So, I decided to surprise him with some dinner, friends, and frolic. I made a "date" with him, and we took the "T" subway into Boston. Our destination: Fire and Ice, our favorite restaurant. I had previously arranged for some of our friends to meet us there. When we got there, "Surprise" "Happy Birthday" and all that. What followed was a loud, laugh-filled chattering dinner, where we closed the restaurant.
By that time, our group halved. Some had work the next day, and others were the rides. All that were left: Me, Dom, and a girl who used to date Dom-Songbird. I thought Songbird had gotten over the whole not dating Dom anymore thing and had moved on to being "just friends." WRONG! We were parked at the same subway station, so rode together. For the next 30 minutes she flirted shamelessly, and worked very hard to reintroduce herself into Dom's heart. Now, I have no interest in ever dating Dom in a serious way. I like casual dates with him, where we have fun. I like his company, but he is way too young in all things important to me for it to move out of "friend zone".
I think the clincher to when I was beyond uncomfortable was when she moved in as though to kiss him, but just not. Dom did nothing to either encourage or discourage her. That was irrelevant. Apparently so was I. If I'd realized just how much Songbird was still hung up on Dom I would never have included her in the group. I refuse to be the Yenta in my circle of friends any more. So that said, the fun friend evening I planned turned into a big Zuzu the Third Wheel night.
There won't be a next time, as this time next year I will be living in the Rockies. I think the thing that upset me the most was that they both know that, and that I will not be moving back to the East Coast. Vacationing to see family, but never to live there again. That night was the last big night out with my friends. I'm working too many hours and trying to fulfill too big a calling to stay out late with friends any more. Oh well... Maybe they'll send me a virtual postcard when I've moved.
PS. I realize this is a whiny post... Get over it. I'm sure this has happened to many people, just this is a first to me, and I wanted to put it into cyber-space. ;-p
The weather is murky, friendships strained, and a question hangs in the air. Perhaps the brisk wind will come down from the hills to clear the air.
Please comment and share. I love your thoughts.
Thanks,
The Tallgurrl
My friend Dom was one of the kidnappers, and his birthday was three days before the new year. We didn't get to celebrate it, as he spent it with his family, and then all the New Year's celebrating happened.
So, I decided to surprise him with some dinner, friends, and frolic. I made a "date" with him, and we took the "T" subway into Boston. Our destination: Fire and Ice, our favorite restaurant. I had previously arranged for some of our friends to meet us there. When we got there, "Surprise" "Happy Birthday" and all that. What followed was a loud, laugh-filled chattering dinner, where we closed the restaurant.
By that time, our group halved. Some had work the next day, and others were the rides. All that were left: Me, Dom, and a girl who used to date Dom-Songbird. I thought Songbird had gotten over the whole not dating Dom anymore thing and had moved on to being "just friends." WRONG! We were parked at the same subway station, so rode together. For the next 30 minutes she flirted shamelessly, and worked very hard to reintroduce herself into Dom's heart. Now, I have no interest in ever dating Dom in a serious way. I like casual dates with him, where we have fun. I like his company, but he is way too young in all things important to me for it to move out of "friend zone".
I think the clincher to when I was beyond uncomfortable was when she moved in as though to kiss him, but just not. Dom did nothing to either encourage or discourage her. That was irrelevant. Apparently so was I. If I'd realized just how much Songbird was still hung up on Dom I would never have included her in the group. I refuse to be the Yenta in my circle of friends any more. So that said, the fun friend evening I planned turned into a big Zuzu the Third Wheel night.
There won't be a next time, as this time next year I will be living in the Rockies. I think the thing that upset me the most was that they both know that, and that I will not be moving back to the East Coast. Vacationing to see family, but never to live there again. That night was the last big night out with my friends. I'm working too many hours and trying to fulfill too big a calling to stay out late with friends any more. Oh well... Maybe they'll send me a virtual postcard when I've moved.
PS. I realize this is a whiny post... Get over it. I'm sure this has happened to many people, just this is a first to me, and I wanted to put it into cyber-space. ;-p
The weather is murky, friendships strained, and a question hangs in the air. Perhaps the brisk wind will come down from the hills to clear the air.
Please comment and share. I love your thoughts.
Thanks,
The Tallgurrl
3 comments:
i dont think it was whiny at all. songbird sounds like an idiot with no social grace whatsoever.
She really is a nice girl... A little self involved, but who isn't? I think the lesson I had to learn is to do my research on who I have over. I had forgotten how many times she would confirm coming to shindigs at my place, only to be a no-show. Past performance WILL dictate future outcomes with her. I just hope she matures a little bit before she gets out to school herself. I am a firm believer in karma, and it would be a real shame if she got hit with a big case of it.
see? now YOU have social grace! there is some quote that says something along the lines of "good manners means tolerating those who dont have them".
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