The whole situation has really made me think about how I treat other people, and what many would find offensive. Perhaps I am too teasing, and need to change how I show affection. I would never intentionally hurt another person. As the recipient of much bullying as a child, I find the practice abhorrent, and will defend those who are treated so to my dying breath. Somehow I was the bully this time, though. I need to figure out how to make it right. Because, this is a very uncomfortable situation to be in. Especially since the person who was hurt shares a bedroom with me.
I'm not sure what to do, though. As I said, I was the recipient of much bullying as a child/teen. Back then, I would bottle up my hurt and pain. The bullies who hurt me never really sought restitution or to make up for their ill treatment of me. In their minds, I imagine, I was just an oversensitive "weak" person, who was an easy target for their fun. Either that, or it just didn't occur to them that making me into a pariah, and taunting me that should I just commit suicide-it would be better for everyone, would hurt me.
I have moved on from that time. In fact, I hadn't thought of it for decades. This incident just made me remember how it felt, and I don't want to be that person who doesn't care. I don't know where my former bullies are these days. But I do not wish them ill. Their actions made me who I am today. Though I do take a small pleasure knowing that at least one of them is living with karma.
Meanwhile, it is up to me to figure out what I need to do to rectify this situation. Wish me luck.
The sky is green, right now... I'm going to have to rush to avoid the coming twister.
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Thank you,
The Tallgurrl
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