In my university, there is a core group of classes that are required. They title their general education requirements as Foundation courses. The culmination of these courses is a final course entitled Capstone. In this class, critical thinking skills are taught and reinforced. Now before my more liberal readers get worried that I am being brainwashed, don't worry. They merely teach about researching before forming opinions, and looking at multiple sides of a situation before judging. I know this is not a novel idea, at least to my East Coast readers, but for many of the students on this campus it is revolutionary. They seem to flow in a mass of ignorance and spout off semi-extremist groups' dogma as their own truths, rather than come up with their own original thoughts. Let me illustrate.
In Capstone yesterday, we had homework due which required us to evaluate the character of Christ, and to evaluate our own character development journeys. That day, our discussion was a panel discussion, where four students, 2 men and 2 women, were brought in and introduced as homosexual couples that were accepted to BYU-Idaho, and would begin studies the following semester. I was one of the people in one of the couples. Lest I offend anyone who does not already knows this, I am not a lesbian, but was performing the role for the express purpose of opening some eyes and letting the people know that their paradigms were faulty, and in some cases wrong.
In the hallway, as I and my partner were discussing our story, I predicted how the class would go. I am sad to report that I was correct. As we walked in and were introduced, we were greeted by a sea of chuckles, smirks, and not a few nervous glances. The ensuing discussion, more of a question and answer session, was very telling. Some of the students were hell bent on saving our eternal souls, trying to convince of how wrong our lifestyles were, and that we couldn't get into heaven because of our choices. Some were taking an attitude of pointing out that we were breaking the Honor Code by being in a relationship. (Please note, there is a clause regarding living a chaste life in this contract. The chastity clause is applicable to homosexual and heterosexual students.) There were some that just wanted to know why we would choose a clearly Mormon school to attend, when we were living in a way counter to the teachings of the church. This went on for 35-40 minutes, they would shoot off a question, mostly inappropriate and none of their business... And we would answer, often asking "Why do you care?" There was one guy in particular, who I know didn't understand the point of the class. He was so convinced that he was right, and that it was a joke. I really wanted to smack his smirk off of his face, and kick him. His smug attitude was so off putting, that his otherwise attractive visage was becoming gruesome to look at. It was an act of mercy when the teacher called a halt and sent us to our seats. The end result was this: most of the people reevaluated their attitudes about people that are different. Some of the people kept their righteous pride, and security in their salvation. Myself, I stayed the same. After the discussion, the teacher interjected that not one student welcomed these new students to the school. At which point, one student said "Welcome to BYU-Idaho."
This post is not about being gay. Nor is it about religion, though if you want to profess belonging to one or another it behooves you to actually learn your church's stance on everything. What I am writing about is how we treat each other. As I performed that role, I found myself growing increasingly irritated and offended by the conversation and the tenor it was taking. Somehow the other students got it into their minds that the point of the discussion was to browbeat the panel. This was so wrong, in so many ways. The point was to make the students think about how they treat others, and what they think as they judge people who are different. Their inappropriate questions, clumsy attempts at convincing us to "change our wicked ways," the discussion about salvation and the direction we wanted to take with our partners in the relationship... All illustrated the general ignorance and deeply rooted prejudices the people had.
The following class we discussed what had happened in the previous one. We talked about the veiled hostility, the defensiveness on both sides, the ignorance of doctrine that was being quoted. I knew I had been a bit harsh and somewhat antagonistic. My purpose in that was to make these people think. Going in I had a real fear that some day one of these people would have their child come out to them, and be rejected by their parent. It was an unbearable thought, and if my being a bit aggressive and poking at their weak stances could prevent even one family from shattering by the means of pride, then my work was finished. One thing the teacher brought up, was that the school does in fact have many homosexual students, and they don't dare come out to people on campus out of fear of being treated exactly the way they treated the panel. I recently read a blog post that very concisely says what I am trying to say. This is what I would say, if I were better at writing. This expresses what is in my heart. The author is so right, and I hope this will spread abroad.
It isn't about tolerance, or religion. It isn't about who is going to heaven, or hell. It certainly isn't about politics. It is about Love. It doesn't matter who you are attracted to. It doesn't matter what color your skin is. It doesn't matter what your religion is, whether it be any religion or the religion of non-religion. It doesn't matter who you voted for in the last election. What does matter is how you treat your fellow beings. What matters is keeping families together with love. What matters is treating everyone with respect and dignity. At the end of the day, do you want to be known as the person who is filled with righteous hate and anger, or the person who is loving and gentle? You decide.
The air is filled with a thick cloud of fog. I do see a light in the horizon, very far away. I think we'll have a long way to go, to reach it... But I think we can make it.
Please comment and share this post.
Thank you,
The Tallgurrl
1 comment:
You're absolutely right. Loving our fellow men doesn't mean agreeing with or condoning every single last thing they do. It means loving them as children of our Heavenly Father, and part of that is minding our own business. Who a person is attracted to or in a relationship with isn't any of my business. Ditto with so very many other things.
I don't know the exact format of the class discussion, but I would hope that had I been in the class I would have been able to welcome the "new students" to BYU-Idaho and focus on things that would let me get to know them better as people. Because really, that's a whole lot more important in the long run.
I can't say that it would be easy, necessarily. But important things aren't always going to be easy. I guess I just hope I can be like my brother Stanford. He loved everybody, regardless of their personal choices and challenges, but he also stood very firm in his beliefs.
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